


The Choices We Make

by Septictrash247



Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Ethical Dilemmas, Google Mark, Happy Ending?, Jack is depressed and kinda crazy, Jack plays Frankienstine, Kinda, M/M, Mark dies, Mark’s alive, drama alert, playing god, this is a birthday gift
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-09 15:15:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20996912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Septictrash247/pseuds/Septictrash247
Summary: In an attempt to get over a tragic loss, Jack plays God in trying to bring back what once was. In turn, he must accept the consequences for his actions even if that means splitting the world apart.He just wanted to see Mark smile again.





	1. Grief

**Author's Note:**

> This is a collaborative story. The Odd chapters are written by me while the evens are written by my friend Maru. This is also a birthday gift.

It had been two months. Two long months since Mark had died. The entirety of the online world, it seemed, was beyond devastated by this tragic loss. It just wasn't as vibrant or bright without the gentle Markiplier in it anymore. Mark Fishbach was; welcoming, a warm gentleness radiated off his person whenever he’d smile. He was kind-hearted and charitable. Always taking the time to help others in need, his friends and family. In his promising life, he put himself out there in the world. Not only to help himself, but those he cherished and protected. Mark himself, may have been a little arrogant and self indulgent at times, but he really did have the heart of an angel. So when this unforeseen accident happened, it hit everyone in the worst way possible. Sad and heavy hearts struggled afterwards to keep Mark in their minds, with happy memories and prayers. But, no one suffered and struggled with the loss more than, Sean William Mcloughlin.  
  
Sean had just started dating Mark for about three months before the accident. It seemed like a cruel thing for fate to have intended. After many years of; teasing, secret pining, endless nights of worrying and stress, they were finally together. Only to have Mark be stolen away in the prime of his youth. It wasn’t fair.. And all that was left was emptied echos of regret, as their relationship was still so new and had the potential to be something so much more. But now it was too late. So many things left unsaid, so many promises that would never be fulfilled. So many a sleepless night that Sean had to endure alone. Even with the help of Mark's most closest friends, their appraisals to comfort Jack the best they could— was all for not. He acknowledged their kindness, their sympathy. But still, he felt bitter and stubborn as he continued to wallow in his loneliness. This was the lowest the Irishmen had felt in his entire life. It didn't seem reasonable to him, not at all. Mark was one of the most good-natured, humbled person he could think of. So how on God's green earth was this justifiable? How was it that someone could be able to move on from something like this? He couldn’t fathom it. The comprehension was tearing what used to be an upbeat man like himself, down into a heavy weighted depression. Some days, he didn't didn’t even speak to anyone. Sean hadn't even notified his fans that he was okay or still there with them. He was just too distraught. His chest throbbed with a dull and dense weight, his red puffy eyes wouldn't stop shedding heavy tears, and his voice cracked with pitiful hiccuped sobs that were muffled by his tear stained pillow. This had been going on for days, and would start when he would wake up. It would even continue until he eventually passed out from exhaustion. Fighting to have the motivation— to think positively was hard, it didn't work no matter how hard he tried. No sympathized talks, no therapists, no amount of meditation could settle the dark storm that shook him awake throughout the night. And what trouble him the most, was that Sean knew Mark wouldn't have wanted him grieving so heavily for his sake. The younger, now currently rooted into the bed began to think about this. Carefully and sluggishly, he rolled onto his back and let out a soft breath of air, finished by a gentle tug of his lips into the form of a small smile. He smiled, imagining what Mark would say right now if he were to come home and find the fair skinned other in such a state.   


Mark would most likely… Open the door and look around the room, out of habit of course. Only to eventually have his gaze land on the obvious lump atop his bed and let out a breath of cool air. His residence immediately felt, but it was not intimidating. Mark would walk over as Jack regarded his presence with a flicker of his blue eyes. He would shrink back under the intense but concerned gaze that bore into his soul as Mark approached him. Once settled by his side, he’d push back Sean’s messy bangs with callous fingers. Skin so homely compared to his glacial pale body. The younger almost leaned into the touch, wanting more. The half-Korean chuckled as his plea was met, moving his skilled fingers down, tracing along side the outline of his cheek gently as the older caressed. Once Sean happily nuzzles into his touch, blue eyes flick up to meet a face full of concern. However, those familiar and tepid eyes, they crinkle in the corner as sort of an unseen smile. 

"Jeez, you look like shit. Is all of this for me?" 

He'd say in a pleasantly subdued manner, willing himself to stay uplifting despite his obvious concerns for his lover. The man that went by ‘Jack’— in turn would reach up with a heavy and limp limb, to hold the hand cupping his face and chuckle out, "Don' flatter yerself. N' I look amazin' as always." Voice still too weak and raspy to be recognizable as his own. Then Mark would laugh at his sassed remark. His beautiful, round, and full laughter. Yes. That’s what he’d do but……

But he couldn't. Not anymore. 

Mark was gone. 

Jack opened and closed the hand that was ghosting over his cheek, feeling the little tiny light prickle of heat coming from finger tips that felt so much like Mark's. He found some sort of comfort in this. But, decided that he would torture himself more by flipping on his phone and thumbing through Mark's old channel and picked a random episode, just so Jack could hear his voice again. His friends would say that this wasn't healthy, that dwelling on this and the past would only make him a complete wreck. "You need some time for yourself Jack..", "You need to make peace with what happened..", "Go spend time with your family.", “It’s not good for you to be alone right now..”, "What would Mark say if he saw you like this?" Jack snorted, not really paying attention to the video but just letting Mark's laughter and deep rumbles drift in and out through his ears. How could they speak for Mark? How would they know what he wanted? But, it was at this thought and this thought alone… That Jack shot up, and had himself an idea.  
  
  
  
He was finally done. Well, not actually complete in the sense of the word, done. But close enough to give everything a test run. It was going to be worth the struggle, worth the dull ache in his chest, worth the wound and bitter thoughts that plagued his mind. Worth every agonizingly painful second of waiting. As Jack put the chip inside the slot— safe and secure. He held his breath, and waited. Waited in the familiar, stomach fluttering anticipation of silence.   
  
A flashing light came into focus, his eyes blinked open and everything around him became fuzzy. Mark took in a huge breath but his lungs never filled with air. His mouth didn't feel dry as it usually did when he woke up from a deep sleep. His head wasn't even pounding, but he could feel... Feel heavy in his chest. He blinks once more and looked around a room that looked so familiar to him.. Wait, wait he was.. In a hospital right? All the light was fading and it was all white right? And then he fell asleep? No... No he... He had died.. He died, and now he was in his room. He yelped and startled himself as his head whiplashed around, he was confused, beyond confused, but he couldn't feel his face scrunch up to show that he was. What the hell was going on? Then, he heard a soft, and quiet voice reach him. "M-Mark..?" Mark turned slowly, and saw one of his closest friends and new boyfriend looking at him in shock and awe. Mark quickly forgot about his panic and scanned over his friend. He was deathly pale; skinny, too skinny, he had bloodshot eyes and tear stained cheeks, messy untamed and greasy hair, filthy clothes, it looked as if he hadn't taken care of himself for a long time. Mark eyes widened and he felt like tearing up, except he couldn't for some reason. "Sean...?" He whispered out. Jack gasped, eyes wide open. Without any further questions, he ran straight into the man and hugged him like his life depended on it. Fresh tears streaming down his face as he choked back a sob, burying his face into his... Chest? Mark reached up to sooth his friend but what he had thought to be his hand, wasn't a hand. It was like a claw, a robotic claw. "Sean wh.. What's going-" He was stopped when Jack looked up at him with wide blue eyes with a mixture of; fear, hope, and desperation. Any other questions that Mark was going to say were drowned out by his concerns and the need to be strong for his friend. His friend who he had never seen so destroyed and lifeless before. Jack stared up, babbling through his sobs.   


"I-I'm s-s-so foukin' s-s-sorry! I-I jus' missed ye s-s-so much! I-it wasn' fair Mark, y-ye didn' d-deserve t-te be taken-taken-taken aw-way.... I-I tried, I tried so FUCKING hard, I-I s-swear I did, b-but I h-had te, I had te, I had te! Please please, PLEASE fergive me... Ple-please.."  


Jack paused and hyperventilated as he tried to calm himself down. Mark was afraid that he was going to collapse from overworking himself, or worse-- passing out from lack of oxygen. Mark cupped his face and hushed him. "Jack, Jack, look at me.. Look at me and take a deep breath okay? Can you do that for me?" Jack nodded and took a few deep breaths before sinking to his knees, Mark followed him down and cradled the irishman, rubbing his back in a calm and soothing manner. His body heat wasn't felt, he had no fucking clue what in the hell was going on, but all he cared about at this moment was being there for his boyfriend. He cooed and hummed softly, despite the fact that his voice-- he noticed, wasn't lining up properly. It sounded like a microsoft sam text speech, or one of those evie bots. It was fake and it concerned, yet frustrated him a little bit. Why did he sound so robotic? But again, he forced himself to push his worries away for Jack and just cradled him. "It's okay.. It’s gunna be okay..." Jack whimpered softly, heaving as he started to calm down, whispering, _ 'M' so sorry' _ over and over again. But Mark just held the man in his arms. He pressed his lips to the younger’s head but, all that was felt was blunt pressure, no warmth or softness. That bothered him more but Jack seemed to understand the purpose and nuzzled against him happily. It seemed like hours had gone by before Jack had finally fallen asleep due to exhaustion, but he still clung to Mark tightly. Mark in turn thought fondly of this. But that serenity of calmed happiness was short lived. Taking a good look at his thin and robotic claw like arms, he had to wonder. "Jack... What did you do..?" He whispered to himself.


	2. What Did You Do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark takes a good look at himself in the mirror.

Mark was sitting next to Jack as he slept. All he could do was stare down at himself. His robotic claw honestly scared him. The metal, the wires, it wasn't natural. "Sean.. what happened to me...?" He whispered to himself. Mark noticed something out of the corner of his eye. In his sleep, Jack was shivering from the cold temperature in the room. Mark couldn't feel a thing. Mark pulled the blankets over Jack, trying to calm down the shivers. Mark, again, just sat there for a good while, not knowing what to think. He finally snapped out of his trance and stood up.   
  
The walk to the bathroom was probably the most thought provoking walk Mark had ever taken. His mind filled with runaway questions like; 'Is my whole body like this?' 'Was I really dead?' and 'What did Jack do to himself?'. He would've felt himself grow sick with all the possible answers, if he could feel anything at all.   
  
When he finally arrived at the door, he froze. He swallowed hard, or tried to. His voice making the normal gulp sound he didn't know he could make. He felt like he was shaking but his body showed nothing of the sort. He breathed in heavily, not really needing to, and opened the door slowly as he stepped into the darkened room. He automatically turned towards the mirror and let out a small sigh of relief. Because in the darkness, he couldn't see himself in the mirror. 'You really should know what you look like..' a small voice chimes. He put his claw on the light switch, and hesitated. Too scared to turn it on. But he knew he had to, he had to know what Jack did. Mark then flipped the switch and gasped harshly, backing up into the wall.   
  
He had a face. Sort of, but it didn't fully look like him and was only on the front of his head. The face, his face; was slightly lopsided, as if it had melted a small bit, lacked in any emotion, and barely moved when he gasped. Hair was there but it was obvious that it was a wig. The only thing Mark could recognize the hair from was around his look in 2014 at the beginning of the year. His neck was made up of wires and thin metal bars that barely seemed like they were holding his head up. They creaked softly when he moved his head from side to side. A shirt was covering his chest so of course, Mark lifted up the shirt at the helm a bit for a better look. A mess of wires, blinking lights, and bolts. It looked horrifying and Mark quickly tugged the helm down. His arms were just as bad and his legs were exactly the same. Mark stood there in complete shock and bewilderment. On one hand he was proud of Jack, building a robot definitely wasn't easy, and it showed, literally on him. And then on the other hand, he fucking was terrified. Why was he a robot!?

Mark sprinted back to Jack's room, ready to yell at him but as quickly as the fear came, it stopped. He saw his boyfriend clinging onto one of the pillows, with one of his shirts wrapped around it. He was breathing heavily in his sleep. Marks expression went soft (as soft as his expression could go) as he wraps his arms around himself. Mark sat back down next to Jack in bed gently. He sighed softly out of habit now, and looked him over again. 'Jack really does look like absolute shit.' Mark couldn't help but feel guilty. Jack did this to himself; so he could build him, so he'd be with him again. Mark would have been crying by this point if he actually could. Then, he got an idea.   
  
  
Jack woke up in the morning to the smell of a wonderful breakfast. It'd been so long since Jack had eaten something good and homemade that he almost sprinted towards the kitchen. Jack gasped softly as he saw Mark in front of him. Fake skin now covered up all of his face, hair fixed and fully dressed. Long sleeves hid the arms and Jack could feel the amount of effort it must've taken to tug a shirt over a metal body. He looked over at jack and gave a sweet of smile as he possibly could. Glasses over his white eyes. His face was no longer lopsided and his neck didn't creek. "Morning beautiful." He said gently.   
  
Jack gawked, hearing that Mark's voice was better. Still not perfect, far from it, but good enough. It didn't sound so disjointed and broken. More of a distant and quiet hum. Like Mark's voice in raw recordings; less clear and quiet, drowned out by the background ambience. He could fix that, but as of now he wasn't thinking about that. Instead his thoughts now, we're focused all on the smile that graced his boyfriend's face. The work that went into that smile. It wasn't perfect, but it was just close enough for Jack to start tearing up again. He didn't know he still had anymore tears left.   
  
He then sprinted over to Mark with shaking knees, and hugged him tightly. Mark's body felt more solid and warm, not rough, bulky, and jagged due to thick wires or screws like Jack had expected. Mark hugged him back and sighed softly, even though his chest never rose.   
  
"Please don't cry Jack.... I hate when you cry.."   
  
"Y-you fookin arse... Ye fixed yersel-lf? Fer m-me?"   
  
"Of course.. Besides, cuddling with a hunk of metal probably isn't the best.."   
  
"S-shut up.. Jus' shut up n' keep h-holdin' me ye sweet bastard.."   
  
Mark chuckled softly and nodded, holding Jack close to himself. He gently moved his now duct taped and glove covered hand through Jack's hair. Even though Jack probably hadn't taken a shower in awhile, Mark bet it was just as soft as he remembered.   
  
Jack held onto Mark in almost an iron grip. He sighed heavily after he had calmed down a small bit. "You hungry?" Mark asked. Jack gave a small nod as he walked over to the table. Mark sat a full plate of bangers and mash down in front of him. And Jack, who couldn't remember the last full meal he had eaten, ate with the speed of a hundred demons. Mark hadn't even sat down by the time Jack was almost done. "Wow. You really haven't eaten in awhile have you...?" He asks softly, taking ahold of Jack's hand. Jack looked up in response and didn't reply for a bit, mostly because he didn't know what to say, and because he had food shoved into his mouth. Instead of talking, Jack just gave a sheepish nod. Mark let out another soft sigh and looked down tenderly but his eyes were full of remorse.   
  
Minutes of uncomfortable silence passed as Jack ate all of Mark's food as well. With permission of course! Mark wasn't really hungry anyway. Could he even get hungry?   
  
"Jack... What happened to me?"   
  
Jack choked a bit and coughed. After his little choke up he looked up at Mark, his once vibrant blue eyes now laced with regret and despair. "That's.. That's a real.. H-hard thing te answer-" Mark just kept staring, Jack swallowed hard. His resolve broken. "Ye... ye died Mark.." was all Jack was able to bring himself to muster.   
  
Mark gave a small nod, he had more questions about the details but he didn't want Jack to break again. He had to be gentle and patient. So instead, he gestured down at himself.   
  
"Then.. why-"   
  
  
"I couldn'..... I couldn' deal with it Mark.."   
  
Jack cut Mark off, knowing Mark's question already. His voice never raising above a whisper. Jesus, this wasn't his Jack at all.. But he stayed silent and waited for him to continue.   
  
"You died n'.. Te world seemed te fall apart without ye in it.. Ye have no idea- How... How hard... It was so hard Mark.. So lonely n'-n' I jus'... Couldn' do it anymore.. I needed you.. I needed you so badly.. But.. Ye weren' here... I had te do sumthin'! There's no way I-I could've gone on happy knowin'.. K-knowin' ye.."   
  
Jack took a shaky breath as he willed the tears back as best as he could.   
  
".. About a month er two later.. I finally finished buildin' ye.. So, here ye are.. N' I.. I know it's probably not what you wanted or what anyone else would’ve wanted but.. Te world still needed ye Mark.. It's.. It's so sad and dark without you in it.. Every single fan of yours would've agreed with me.."   
  
Jack rambled, tears pricking his eyes whether he wanted them to or not. Mark was honestly touched by some of his words, but shocked by others. Jack had brought Mark back into the world, and would've done it in one way or another. Mark didn't know what to say for a while, processing everything. Until finally he thought about what Jack had said about his fans.   
  
"Did anyone else know you were doing this?"   
  
Jack again, stayed quite. Didn't even look up at him. He flinched like he was expected to be scolded and whispered meekly, "Yes... N' no.. Bob n' Tyler.. They weren't with te idea at all.. Gave me a lecture about-- How it's not te same, ye can' make things go back to te way they were, even said it was crazy.. I don' even think they believed it would've worked. N' I stayed off of Youtube n' Twitter... Felix n' Robin are probably worried.. So yes they knew what I was doin' but.. No, no one knows yer back.."   
  
Mark swallowed. If he could've. But was feeling really weird about the whole thing. But, it was whatever made his boyfriend happy right? Might as well have faith in him, he'd commit to this for him. For Jack, whatever it may be. He'd do it.   
  
  
"Jack, you can't keep me or yourself hidden forever.."   
  
"I know.. I know.. Which is why... W-whenever ye wa-want to.. I have a plan of sorts."   
  
"And that plan is?"   
  
Mark asked, starting to get intrigued. Jack bit his lip and reached for his hand in support. Mark took it as carefully as he could, anything to show that he trusted Jack.   
  
"One word. Livestream."


	3. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack comes forward with the truth to his dedicated followers.

He had set up the camera; adjusted the lightning, sent out the tweet, and yet he still wasn’t ready. How long had it been since the last live stream? A couple of weeks, a few months? Hell he hadn’t even touched his Youtube account in almost a year. The irishmen bit his lip in anticipation, not ready for the reaction that was soon to follow. His heavy head moved slowly as it lolled to the side as his eyes dragged behind. When Jack finally managed to gaze into Mark’s eyes, the more nervous and overwhelmed he got. He hadn’t felt like this in years. He never thought he would be this nervous about another person’s opinion since the start of his channel. Horrible flashbacks of his tiny shy, overly american accent rang in his ears, he visibly shuddered. 

The plan was; to update his fanbase, give his explanation, and then introduce Mark.. Introduce Mark..”Mark,” he whispered once he swallowed the dry lump in his throat. The android stared at his boyfriend, and tilted his head to the side with a slow blink of his shutters, that now acted as eyelids. It helps to have someone who was once an engineer look over his design work. “What’s wrong?” Jack swallowed once more and looked down at the carpeted floor beneath himself. “I don’t think I can do this..” he captured his bottom lip in between his teeth, gnawing at it. Mark placed a careful metallic claw upon his shoulder. There was no warmth to his touch, but Jack could feel it’s intent. 

“Your mental health depends on this.”

“But I—“

“Yeah you hate being selfish or God forbid that you even compliment yourself, but Jack.. You’re going to hurt yourself either way. You love your community as much as you love me. That is both an amazing gift and a curse that you’ve put on yourself. If you believe in them so much, then that should allow you to put an ounce of that trust in yourself..”

Jack had nearly forgotten what a great motivator Mark had been. _ Still is _. In a way, Mark has a point. The community he had built up over the years were still here for him, still supporting him even after this crisis and he wasn’t anything if not grateful for it. But now he was in a position that would determine not only his judgment of character to his loving fan base; but to his closest friends, family, the entirety of the YouTube platform would know what he had done. And if he lost all of that support and trust, then not even Mark would be able to make things better for himself. But…. Something in those cold, mechanical eyes— Mark’s very spirit told Jack that he could do this, that somehow things would turn out okay. He had to believe in himself again. The Irishman took a deep breath and held it in, closing his eyes as he allowed the nerves and anxiety push through his body with an exhale. “Okay.” He whispered. And turned the camera on.

  
  


“This Week on Drama Alert: Let’s player, Youtuber, Jacksepticeye, also known as Sean McLoughlin— After a full two months of absence has come back with some news that has split the entire YouTube community in half. Last week’s livestream shows that Jack in an attempt of easing grief had claimed to have brought late Youtuber and account partner, Markiplier, Mark Fischbach from the dead. Countless comments from fans are torn as some show support; wishing that if this is what it takes to make him happy, then he should grieve how he wants. Others are in the belief that he ACTUALLY brought Mark back from the dead with this frankly terrifying machine. Fellow friends of Jack and closer friends of the Late Mark, had this to say.”

_ “Yeah— he had told us about this idea he had but… I never actually thought he’d attempt something like this, I mean.. I knew he was hurt but this.. This is just a whole new level of insulting and wrong. He was my best friend too, and really I don’t think this was the way to go.” _Say Bob Muyskens said. 

_ “I don’t think his Mom, ANYONE really would’ve guess this. I think— No I don’t think he means it as an insult but I know Tyler, Bob, and I, this isn’t what we want. We don’t want our friend struggling like this but at the same time it’s.. It’s hard to forgive him as hard as it was to watch. I dunno, I’m conflicted with how I feel right now.” _

“Said Wade Barns, one of Mark’s closets friends. And of course we wouldn’t be anywhere on this circuit at all if the big man himself, Pewdiepie, didn’t just release the response video from the backlash Jacksepticeye had received. Felix has this to say.”

_ “... (Jack) has always been too loyal of a person and I should’ve helped him more.. Mark was close to all of us and.. I think this is what he needs right now. I don’t really get into drama and I would never have even made this video because it’s a personal friend of mine— but I wanted to give support to him.” _

“Guys, I don’t even know where to begin with this one. But this shit is fucking crazy—“

  
  


Jack slammed the laptop shut and shoved it towards the side of his bed. He hadn’t even moved from his spot for the past two days. Tiredly, he rubbed at his eyes and forehead, all burning with strain. He fucked up. He had fucked up royally and it was his fault. He thought he was bringing Mark back for the world but maybe this was more for himself than anything. He couldn’t face the world knowing that fact right now.

His phone buzzed as it signified the countless messages all lighting up his touch screen right now. They were most likely from the majority of Mark’s friends, from Felix and Robin.. What can he say right now to defend himself? What could he say on his behalf that didn’t shine him in worse light? He’d just end up hurting him like he had done to anyone else...

What if everyone was right? That he was so far down into his depression that the thing he had made was just a fucked up coping mechanism so he would feel better? What if this was just the beginning of a massive break down? Now Jack had fallen harder than he ever had before; dragging friend against friend, harbingering judgment over his own fucking life. What was he going to do now? The poor pale male just hugged his knees and tried to keep as calm as possible. However the heaviness in his chest weighed him down, he was sure that his stung bloodshot eyes couldn’t produce any tears even if he wanted to. Frustrated, distressed, _ destroyed _beyond all recognition. What was he going to do now? Poor Jack couldn’t even face the fucking thing he built. It was all a fucking lie, a cruel thing that he has conjured for himself, believing that it was actually the loved one he had lost. Alone in his room he sat, and for the first time in his life, he wished he had never left his cabin in the middle of the woods.

  
  



End file.
